The rules are the same:
- Each writer will get 4 picks for why they think this movie is Rad!
- They get one pick per region. Those regions being: 1) Character 2) Scene 3) Moment and 4) Line
- The authors will discuss why they made their picks.
- Through eliminations they will figure out the singular reason why this movie is Totally Rad!
Airplane! Tournament of Rad
Characters Region
Captain
Oveur
Mike's Pick
Mike's Pick
He’s the type of man I would trust to land my plane into the
Hudson River but I also would not want my children to converse with him as he
waters his lawn in tube socks and shorts that are too short. Oveur never says anything that could land him
in prison but would definitely raise some eyebrows if he was in court. From his overtly suggestive line of “You ever
seen a grown man naked?” to his innocent question of “Joey, do you like movies
about gladiators?” this character has one thing, and that thing is…
layers. I don’t know anything about him:
his past, his present, or what he is hoping for in the future; but what I do
know is he is a character that makes “man with boy relationships” funny and
that is not an easy thing to do.
Steve
McCroskey
Armin's Pick
Armin's Pick
What negatives can be said about
McCroskey? None! He is a man so dedicated to his job that he chooses to
continue in dangerous substance abuse to ensure the safe arrival of the
passengers on that plane. I’d want a man huffing glue and taking amphetamines
if it meant my plane landed safely. Additionally, McCroskey is the only man
capable of tolerating Johnny; the precariously gay air traffic controller. This McCroskey guy has seen some
SHIT. Look at that face, look at how dependent he is on chemicals to get him
through the stress of his job. That’s the right man for the job, Steve
McCroskey.
Winner: McCroskey
Mike: I had to give it to McCroskey just for the sole reason that he probably doesn't molest kids.
Scenes Region
Calm down!
Get a hold of yourself!
Mike's Pick
The 80’s were a different time; people could see
a woman getting slapped around and they would love it. The scene starts off with a funny premise of
a woman panicking and the stewardess has to shake her to calm her down, but
once the men get involved it kicks up a notch.
The first man in to assist belts the woman across the face. This is followed by Dr. Rumack doing the same
thing but then he gets requested away for a phone call, as he leaves he goes
back and smacks her again. I cannot
recall any current movie that has “men beating up women” being portrayed as
funny but as I said the 80’s were a different animal. Children of the 80’s know that “oh to common
feeling” at the dinner table when Mom keeps taking shots at Dad and the moment
of “Uh Oh…Dad might hit Mom” occurs, but this scene puts a light hearted spin
on it.
Jive-Talking
Armin's Pick
Let’s just come out of the gate and say this scene would never happen
today, to pretend like these guys are speaking a different language (complete
with subtitles!) is just too racially insensitive (thanks Obama?). They use words you’d only hear in a Sly &
the Family Stone song, you could play this to modern day urban youths and
they’d have no idea what the hell is being said. I wish jive was still a thing!
I particularly like how the only translator is an old white lady, exactly the
type of woman who in real life crosses the street to avoid these kind of guys.
What’s best is these are probably the most sane and calm characters in the
whole movie, yet everyone thinks they’re the crazy ones.
Winner: Jive-Talking
Mike: The part that I like most about this scene is that I try to interpret what the guys are saying. While watching it I think "See I know "honky" means white person and "ole lady" means "wife" but what does "big ol' leg" mean?"
Moments Region
Drinking Problem
Mike's Pick
Recently
I was watching the show “Intervention” and I saw a man who lost his job,
family, and friends. After a painful to
watch meeting he finally admits “I have a drinking problem,” and…I kinda
laugh. The words from this moment are
easy to say but through all my years of College parties and hanging out with
idiots, I have never met someone who is willing to go the extra mile and fully
commit to reenacting it and dump the drink all over themselves. It is easy to say but not easy to do.
Striker’s background story reactions
Armin's Picks
What
Airplane nails so perfectly is in-flight etiquette. When Striker launches into
a longwinded story about his past, he always is welcomed back to the present
day by having the person next to him kill themselves. We have all had to deal
with that guy a seat over who just will not shut up, these people are glad to
take the only logical way out of hearing the full brunt of Striker’s story.
What’s best is how racially relevant each person’s suicide is (Japanese guy
committing Seppuku, Sikh guy lighting himself on fire). Back in the late
70’s/early 80’s they didn’t even have headphones to put in (the universal
“Don’t talk to me signal”), I can see why these people opted out of living!
Winner: Drinking Problem
Armin: Many of us have drinking problems, Airplane! really helps to take that edge off.
Lines Region
I
picked the wrong week to stop…
Mike's Pick
If
anything bad happens to you at anytime you can say this line and make it your
own. And what makes this line so great
is the versatility. Rarely do quotes
have a “fill in the blank” but this one does.
Hanging out at work: You can put something innocent at the end of this
quote and not get fired. Out with the
buddies: You can put something filthy at the end of this quote that could get
you arrested. The flexibility of this
quote allows it to adapt to any situation and last forever.
I take it black, like my men
Armin's Pick
The world was a different
place when Airplane was made, this was a time when interracial couples were as taboo
as gluten is today. There were no biracial angels such as Derek Jeter or Lolo
Jones, so this pre-Miley Cyrus white girl saying “I like my coffee like I like my men….black!” was
sure to make many a movie goer lose their collective shit (remember, MLK was almost EXACTLY 12 years before this came out so there had to be some lingering sore
spots). Additional points for having a young girl say it, no one saw that
coming at all.
Winner: I picked the wrong week to....
Armin: Stressful times make or break a man. The usability of this line is what really takes it to another level. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop making stupid blog posts.
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